Channelling Mr Toad

In the interests of research I have been lurking in the bushes this week. On my way home from work one day I heard shouting.  Hurrying along a tree-lined path, thinking someone was in trouble, I saw a red umbrella pushed in between two trees at a rakish angle, with an elderly lady standing in…

Everyone in KL has a maid.  It’s a bit like having a cleaner in the UK, but they do more, cost less and call you ma’am. What’s not to like?  I resolved to hire one immediately, but then found out about the drawbacks – they can’t be trusted on their own in the house, and…

This child had to be consigned to the recycling bin after asking me whether I had a baby in my tummy, and could she listen to its heartbeat.  May possibly start diet on Monday. On a more postive note, my portrayal of an Egyptian explorer received rave reviews.  Heavily influenced by Mr Benn, I disappear…

Malaysians are not fond of swimming; in fact they don’t seem fond of exercise at all.  I walk to school every day, which only takes about 30 minutes, but any locals who discover this are appalled. ‘Is so far!  Why you no take bus?  Why you no take taxi?’ If you imagine telling a Londoner…

Somewhat unusually, I decided to host a drinks and toast housewarming party. Toasters are pretty hard to come by in KL, and I had to send away for one in the end, such was my determination not to live a toast-free lifestyle. My colleagues at school were all very envious of my toaster so, not…

Depressingly, there are several giant Tesco stores in KL.  They look similar enough to UK stores, although their everyday products make ours look a tad dull. But I haven’t come all this way to shop at Tesco, so I looked elsewhere. There is a giant shoppping mall – fourth largest in the world, actually –…

Mr Toad has finally moved to his elegant new flat, and can be seen here relaxing on his king-size bed, charmingly furnished with imported French cotton bed linen. And relaxing with an aperitif on the balcony before dinner –   The new Toad Hall is on the fifteenth floor, with a somewhat vertiginous view of…

Have really taken to my new role as a drama teacher, and put in a stellar performance – though I say so myself – as Professor I C Stars in the Space Mission role plays last week. Any resemblance to Worzel Gummidge is entirely coincidental.   Another role play involved a cocktail party – not…

I have a vomiter in my class. Her mother – armed with plastic bags and a worried expression – explained to me that when this child feels stressed, she vomits.  With one eye on said child and another on my possible escape route, I tried to look sympathetic and caring, instead of repulsed. Normally she…

Having been here for a week already, I was slightly embarrassed to have to admit that  I hadn’t seen the Petronas Towers yet.  It’s bit like spending a week in Paris and failing to spot the Eiffel Tower.  So a trip downtown on my day off was a must. Feeling a bit Ubered-out, I decided…

Mr Toad and I were relaxing poolside on a sunny afternoon – –  when suddenly I heard a thud … a tiny little squirrel had fallen out of a large palm tree and landed next to me. He gathered his wits, turned his head and then saw me and started scrabbling wildly, trying to get…

As my poor old phone has definitely seen better days I decided to upgrade to a shiny, new, rose gold iPhone. I rapidly installed email, added apps, put in a U.K. clock as well as a Malaysian one and felt very tech-savvy and pleased with myself. Then I thought that I should add the number…

The Kuala Lupur Botanical Gardens, as one might expect, showcase a magnificent variety of lush tropical species. The Oasis Garden   even has its own water nymph elegantly perched on a rock. And I do love a pretentious sign, so I was delighted to read all about the Oasis Garden I would have said it…

No – apparently it’s the Year of the Rooster. So I was rather puzzled to see an installation at Doha airport with approximately a thousand waving cats, wishing everyone a Happy New Year. You may not be able to see clearly from the photo, but they are all waving their left paw stiffly up and…

… ready to head off to Malaysia. He’s hoping that reports of a plague of toad-eating snakes in Kuala Lumpur have been greatly exaggerated.