Channelling Mr Toad

There are two newspapers in KL – The Star and The New Straits Times – and I have become an avid reader whenever I’m sitting in a waiting room with papers available. As an expat, I think it’s essential to find out what the current hot topics are among the locals –     and…

Did you know that Marmite is very popular in Malaysia? It’s used in Chinese Malay cooking, where they make  Marmite chicken or even better – Marmite prawns –   I’m sure that even Marmite haters would be converted by just one of these luscious little mouthfuls … it’s practically an umami-overdose, if such a thing…

OK – so Malaysia has beaches and sunshine.  It has history too, and the rainforest/jungle is a walking zoo – but all anyone here is interested in is food. Malaysians talk about food in much the same way that Brits talk about the weather.  “Have you eaten yet?” is a common morning greeting, which switches…

Penang Hill is 833 metres above sea level, and is reached by a funicular with an ascent which seems almost vertical in places. The top of the hill is a strange mix of ancient and modern; the man-made world and the natural world clinging together on a hilltop.  If you imagine an English bluebell wood…

Have visited the Tropical Spice Garden in Penang.     It’s set in an idyllic location on the coast with tantalising glimpses of the sea through the greenery.     Our guide showed us all sorts of exotic plants –     plus bats –     snakes –     and even the cat’s…

Spending a few days in George Town, capital of Penang. It’s full of cutesy architecture – – and wacky street art. The most famous piece is Children on a Bicycle, which is a photo-must for the cutesy and the humorous. Hunk on a Honda is pretty popular too. There’s also a series of cartoons made…

A week’s holiday from school – hooray! Anthony has arrived from the UK for a visit.  He attempted to cut his costs by disapparating – but unfortuntely couldn’t manage it without splinching, so had to resort to a more mainstream form of travel. We visited the Batu Caves today – a holy Hindu site guarded…

The dreaded ‘pupil reflections’ bandwagon has reached KL, and my school has leapt enthusiastically on board. Just like in the UK, the children have no idea what to write apart from stating-the-bleedin’-obvious comments about working harder, trying harder etc. But I could certainly empathise with this girl and her issues with wordsh*ts – And it…

In the interests of research I have been lurking in the bushes this week. On my way home from work one day I heard shouting.  Hurrying along a tree-lined path, thinking someone was in trouble, I saw a red umbrella pushed in between two trees at a rakish angle, with an elderly lady standing in…

Everyone in KL has a maid.  It’s a bit like having a cleaner in the UK, but they do more, cost less and call you ma’am. What’s not to like?  I resolved to hire one immediately, but then found out about the drawbacks – they can’t be trusted on their own in the house, and…

This child had to be consigned to the recycling bin after asking me whether I had a baby in my tummy, and could she listen to its heartbeat.  May possibly start diet on Monday. On a more postive note, my portrayal of an Egyptian explorer received rave reviews.  Heavily influenced by Mr Benn, I disappear…

Malaysians are not fond of swimming; in fact they don’t seem fond of exercise at all.  I walk to school every day, which only takes about 30 minutes, but any locals who discover this are appalled. ‘Is so far!  Why you no take bus?  Why you no take taxi?’ If you imagine telling a Londoner…

Somewhat unusually, I decided to host a drinks and toast housewarming party. Toasters are pretty hard to come by in KL, and I had to send away for one in the end, such was my determination not to live a toast-free lifestyle. My colleagues at school were all very envious of my toaster so, not…

Depressingly, there are several giant Tesco stores in KL.  They look similar enough to UK stores, although their everyday products make ours look a tad dull. But I haven’t come all this way to shop at Tesco, so I looked elsewhere. There is a giant shoppping mall – fourth largest in the world, actually –…

Mr Toad has finally moved to his elegant new flat, and can be seen here relaxing on his king-size bed, charmingly furnished with imported French cotton bed linen. And relaxing with an aperitif on the balcony before dinner –   The new Toad Hall is on the fifteenth floor, with a somewhat vertiginous view of…

Have really taken to my new role as a drama teacher, and put in a stellar performance – though I say so myself – as Professor I C Stars in the Space Mission role plays last week. Any resemblance to Worzel Gummidge is entirely coincidental.   Another role play involved a cocktail party – not…

I have a vomiter in my class. Her mother – armed with plastic bags and a worried expression – explained to me that when this child feels stressed, she vomits.  With one eye on said child and another on my possible escape route, I tried to look sympathetic and caring, instead of repulsed. Normally she…

Having been here for a week already, I was slightly embarrassed to have to admit that  I hadn’t seen the Petronas Towers yet.  It’s bit like spending a week in Paris and failing to spot the Eiffel Tower.  So a trip downtown on my day off was a must. Feeling a bit Ubered-out, I decided…

Mr Toad and I were relaxing poolside on a sunny afternoon – –  when suddenly I heard a thud … a tiny little squirrel had fallen out of a large palm tree and landed next to me. He gathered his wits, turned his head and then saw me and started scrabbling wildly, trying to get…

As my poor old phone has definitely seen better days I decided to upgrade to a shiny, new, rose gold iPhone. I rapidly installed email, added apps, put in a U.K. clock as well as a Malaysian one and felt very tech-savvy and pleased with myself. Then I thought that I should add the number…