This week one of my pupils asked how old I was when the Vikings invaded Britain.
I like to think that this is because my description of the Anglo-Saxons standing on the cliffs watching the long boats heading for the shore was so vivid that she thought I was actually there myself – rather than because she thinks I look over a thousand years old.
And anyway, if I am ageing at an alarming rate, it’s these children who are entirely to blame for adding so much stress to my life.
This week the Vomiter returned to my class after an absence of about four months. I’d got out of the habit of leaping out of her way as she began heaving and chundering in my direction, so it was a bit of a blow to discover that she was returning, and once again I need to make sure I am never cornered without emergency access to the bin, the book box or – as a last resort – her school bag.
Although on the plus side, the two criminal masterminds in the class, who take delight in disobeying me and crawling into the cupboard to hide, soon crawled out again when the Vomiter crawled in behind them, complaining loudly about the smell of vomit.
But I have discovered a new game which will be ideal for this class –
– anyone ever played hide and sick?
And whoever thought that finger painting was a suitable activity for a class of three and four year-olds, was either inexperienced, idealistic or just plain warped. It took more time to clean up than it took for them to meticulously cover the entire table in paint –
But these kids do a great job of confounding any potential gender stereotyping.
Here is one of the boys working on his finger painting, each finger carefully dipped into a different colour, to keep all the colours separate –
And here are the girls at work –
Am thinking of putting this masterpiece up for sale, but can’t decide whether it should be called Frenzy in the Fonics Class, or Phrenzy in the Phonics Class.