Channelling Mr Toad

Returning from my whirlwind trip back to the UK last week, I had a bizarre encounter with an amorous travel agent at the airport as I waited for my cab. Me: No, I’m not going to meet you for a glass of wine, I’m afraid. Him: Please don’t worry, I’m afraid too. … not exactly…

I can’t believe that I’d never heard of Plate Culture until last week. And now that I’ve become a devotee, I can’t believe that it only exists in SE Asia – it’s such a fantastic idea. At the risk of being accused of epicurean evangelism, let me try to convert you. If you’re lucky enough…

One thing I love about living in a big city is that there’s so much going on and so much choice; whether it’s restaurants, bars, hip coffee shops, music venues, karaoke bars, exercise classes … just scroll through the options and you’ll find one that’s just perfect for you. Having spent the past ten years…

Is there anything more rewarding in this life than teaching three-year-olds?  Watching little eyes open in wonder?  Seeing young minds flourish and blossom? Yes, is the resounding answer to that question … a long list of things actually, starting with herding cats, and ending with painting the Forth Road Bridge or pushing a boulder endlessly…

Did you know that every market in Malaysia has at least one jungle stall? No – neither did I – until yesterday, when I went on a cookery course which began with a trip to the market. The market is literally within spitting distance – and I can’t spit very far – of the school…

I’ve been worrying a bit lately about leaving Mr Toad on his own for so long, while I’m at work.  I think he’s lonely, and he spends far too much time watching trashy TV –   So when I saw the advertisement, I just couldn’t resist …     And so far it seems to…

I suppose it was inevitable – like junkies drawn irresistibly to Amsterdam – that the Crab Crew would end up on Crab Island, or Pulau Ketam as it’s called in Bahasa. Mr Tan, the man with a van, picked us up and took us to the port for a rather blustery ride across the Straits…

Have had my first experience of karaoke Asian-style, and I think I’m hooked. Here in Malaysia everyone sits around the edges of the booth, looking at the screen and singing along – a choral performance rather than a solo, with several microphones in every booth.  So, as long as someone knows the tune, you’re in…

Hopefully not too much … as this was the name plaque on my door at Parents’ Meeting this weekend –   At the other end of the name spectrum – I now have my own meme, which makes me feel totes ahead of the curve .  I arrived at school on Wednesday to find it…

I went on a guided forest hike today, and before we set out the guide gathered us together for the briefing, which included instructions on dealing with leeches. ‘Rule number one,’ he said sternly, ‘is don’t become hysterical.’ A mere five minutes later we had all forgotten this instruction, and there was general hysteria from…

Is this a recognised obsession, or am I the only sufferer? It’s only really surfaced since my arrival in Malaysia.  I spent the previous decade living a mere 10 miles from the home of the Cromer Crab without developing any symptoms at all … apart from a totally understandable urge to snigger at the crab-shaped…

We’ve just had Dress Up As Your Favourite Book Character Weekend at school, and we all took it extremely seriously. I had my Professor McGonagall costume imported from England (thank you, Anthony) and then spent hours in front of the mirror working on my role. The stance was very important – But the facial expressions…

  What do you do when you suddenly realise that a cockroach the size of a fist has materialised from the cloth you’re carrying and is crawling across your decolletage? Well, if you’re anything like me, you scream, drop the cloth and jump around like a demented dervish until the creature flaps its wings –…

Today is yet another holiday in Malaysia … I think they have more public holidays than any other country in the world. Today’s holiday is in honour of the Installation of the Rotating King.  I’m just hoping he can stand still long enough for them to put the crown on his head. The installation of…

I have had my portrait painted …     … or crayoned to be more precise.  But it’s a very good likeness, and I shall be keeping it on my fridge.   And here is the artist, displaying another of her latest works –   I am slightly alarmed by the current trend among the…

There are two newspapers in KL – The Star and The New Straits Times – and I have become an avid reader whenever I’m sitting in a waiting room with papers available. As an expat, I think it’s essential to find out what the current hot topics are among the locals –     and…

Did you know that Marmite is very popular in Malaysia? It’s used in Chinese Malay cooking, where they make  Marmite chicken or even better – Marmite prawns –   I’m sure that even Marmite haters would be converted by just one of these luscious little mouthfuls … it’s practically an umami-overdose, if such a thing…