Returning from my whirlwind trip back to the UK last week, I had a bizarre encounter with an amorous travel agent at the airport as I waited for my cab. Me: No, I’m not going to meet you for a glass of wine, I’m afraid. Him: Please don’t worry, I’m afraid too. … not exactly…
Continuing my love affair with salted egg
Stuffing myself yet again
I can’t believe that I’d never heard of Plate Culture until last week. And now that I’ve become a devotee, I can’t believe that it only exists in SE Asia – it’s such a fantastic idea. At the risk of being accused of epicurean evangelism, let me try to convert you. If you’re lucky enough…
On the yoga trail
One thing I love about living in a big city is that there’s so much going on and so much choice; whether it’s restaurants, bars, hip coffee shops, music venues, karaoke bars, exercise classes … just scroll through the options and you’ll find one that’s just perfect for you. Having spent the past ten years…
In which I devise an ingenious plan …
Is there anything more rewarding in this life than teaching three-year-olds? Watching little eyes open in wonder? Seeing young minds flourish and blossom? Yes, is the resounding answer to that question … a long list of things actually, starting with herding cats, and ending with painting the Forth Road Bridge or pushing a boulder endlessly…
Just popping down to the jungle stall
Did you know that every market in Malaysia has at least one jungle stall? No – neither did I – until yesterday, when I went on a cookery course which began with a trip to the market. The market is literally within spitting distance – and I can’t spit very far – of the school…
I have a new pet
I’ve been worrying a bit lately about leaving Mr Toad on his own for so long, while I’m at work. I think he’s lonely, and he spends far too much time watching trashy TV – So when I saw the advertisement, I just couldn’t resist … And so far it seems to…
The Crab Crew go to Crab Island
I suppose it was inevitable – like junkies drawn irresistibly to Amsterdam – that the Crab Crew would end up on Crab Island, or Pulau Ketam as it’s called in Bahasa. Mr Tan, the man with a van, picked us up and took us to the port for a rather blustery ride across the Straits…
Gin, fags and karaoke … a typical night out in KL
Have had my first experience of karaoke Asian-style, and I think I’m hooked. Here in Malaysia everyone sits around the edges of the booth, looking at the screen and singing along – a choral performance rather than a solo, with several microphones in every booth. So, as long as someone knows the tune, you’re in…
What’s in a name?
Hopefully not too much … as this was the name plaque on my door at Parents’ Meeting this weekend – At the other end of the name spectrum – I now have my own meme, which makes me feel totes ahead of the curve . I arrived at school on Wednesday to find it…
Everything you’ve ever wanted to know about leeches
I went on a guided forest hike today, and before we set out the guide gathered us together for the briefing, which included instructions on dealing with leeches. ‘Rule number one,’ he said sternly, ‘is don’t become hysterical.’ A mere five minutes later we had all forgotten this instruction, and there was general hysteria from…
Crustacean Fixation
Is this a recognised obsession, or am I the only sufferer? It’s only really surfaced since my arrival in Malaysia. I spent the previous decade living a mere 10 miles from the home of the Cromer Crab without developing any symptoms at all … apart from a totally understandable urge to snigger at the crab-shaped…
Mr Toad becomes a luvvie
We’ve just had Dress Up As Your Favourite Book Character Weekend at school, and we all took it extremely seriously. I had my Professor McGonagall costume imported from England (thank you, Anthony) and then spent hours in front of the mirror working on my role. The stance was very important – But the facial expressions…
Cockroach in a coma
What do you do when you suddenly realise that a cockroach the size of a fist has materialised from the cloth you’re carrying and is crawling across your decolletage? Well, if you’re anything like me, you scream, drop the cloth and jump around like a demented dervish until the creature flaps its wings –…
Hurrah for the Rotating King!
Today is yet another holiday in Malaysia … I think they have more public holidays than any other country in the world. Today’s holiday is in honour of the Installation of the Rotating King. I’m just hoping he can stand still long enough for them to put the crown on his head. The installation of…
I’m no purist, but …
… tulips in Singapore? I’ve always wanted to go to Holland to see the tulips, so it seems ironic that the place I get to see them is in a specially cooled biosphere in Singapore. But the crowds loved them – and some people dressed up specially for the occasion. Or tried to have an intimate…
Singapore Botanic Gardens … so much more than a collection of plants
I have never been to a garden before where every plant was screaming – ‘Take my picture!’ ‘No mine!’ ‘No mine!’ it has the National Orchid Collection With little orchids Medium-sized orchids And orchids as tall as a house. And this is as close to a selfie as I’ll ever get Me in the orchid…
A rose by any other name …
I have had my portrait painted … … or crayoned to be more precise. But it’s a very good likeness, and I shall be keeping it on my fridge. And here is the artist, displaying another of her latest works – I am slightly alarmed by the current trend among the…
Local papers – don’t you just love them?
There are two newspapers in KL – The Star and The New Straits Times – and I have become an avid reader whenever I’m sitting in a waiting room with papers available. As an expat, I think it’s essential to find out what the current hot topics are among the locals – and…
You either love it or you hate it
Did you know that Marmite is very popular in Malaysia? It’s used in Chinese Malay cooking, where they make Marmite chicken or even better – Marmite prawns – I’m sure that even Marmite haters would be converted by just one of these luscious little mouthfuls … it’s practically an umami-overdose, if such a thing…